and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
