We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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