You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i've created a new STD.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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