I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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