let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
