You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
