Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
