she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
