But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
