ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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