talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
