did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
