the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
