real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
