Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
