dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize