i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
