Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Randomize
