I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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