Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
