Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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