his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I cut my penus on the lid.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
