It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
