I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
