So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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