East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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