Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
