thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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