meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
