Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
