Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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