How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
