I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
