Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
