Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i barfeds in our rink
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
