My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
