ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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