I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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