Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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