Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
