dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
