Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
