roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
