Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
