so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
