i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize