Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
