He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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