she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
