oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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