Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
