If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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