I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
