I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Small penises have feelings too.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
