Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
vagina is talking i cant
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
