So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
PANTIES FOUND
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
