I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
