All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
