Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
