After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
