i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
